Safe Space in the Seventies

Hello again! It's been a little while since we've chatted. But that's okay. I'm sure you've survived drinking tea with a little peace and quiet. Speaking of peace and quiet. I thought I'd share some ideas about safe spaces.

Now first let me preface that I don't know everything about safe spaces. What I do know has come from a friend and some research. Let's start with a definition. My Google dictionary says a safe space is: a place or environment in which a person or a category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment or any other emotional or physical harm.

It's just what the name implies; I guess. I would relate it to a safe room in a person's house. A person might go there to avoid a catastrophe or an intruder. I would think some places should also be considered safe places; maybe your attorney's office, doctor's office, therapist's office. They take oaths not to reveal your confidences. So why not consider them safe spaces?

Most of the research I've found likes to talk about safe spaces at schools and especially colleges. That concept is a little foreign to me. So let me talk about a time I needed a safe space and we can compare the situations.

Back in the late seventies I was in upper elementary school. And I suffered with my share of name calling and bullying. Come on, who didn't? And you couldn't always run home to mommy and daddy for help. It just wasn't convenient. But the thought of asking for a safe space was laughable. In fact, there were probably people who needed one more than me. I had my charming sense of humor to help me. Not really! I was just as dorky as everyone else. But one time I created my own safe space. And in the spirit of helping anyone who might need a safe space, I'll tell you my story.

I lived on a little street in Springfield, MO back in my younger years. I was probably in 6th or 7th grade. I didn't know it at the time, but maybe people called it a rough part of town. I don't know. It was home. Around the corner and on the corner lived a family of really tough kids. I won't mention any names, but they didn't like to play nice. I'm not sure what I did, but one summer day I did something that didn't make those tough kids happy. And they were out for me. I needed a safe space and I needed it quickly. I hopped on my bike and headed home. Running inside wasn't going to help. Those kids knew how to knock on the door and ask for me. What did I do instead? I made my own safe space. I dropped my bike in the yard and high tailed it up a tree. I was safely hidden in leaves of the tree as I watched those kids come by my house looking for me. I was still in that tree when they got bored and took off.

Whew! My only problem was how to get down. Dang it! That's always been my problem with tree climbing. It's so much easier to get up than it is to get down. But I made my own safe space. I was protected from physical and emotional harm in that tree. So let's remember that life is hard, but we can make our own safe space. The seventies weren't that bad, in fact I think we might have learned some creativity in those days. Let me know what you think.

The Man Behind the Green

Today is the day of wearing green. I'm sure you have a little Irish in you. I know I do. But did you know St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland wasn't even Irish? It is true!

St. Patrick was actually born in Britain while it was under Roman rule. When he was a young teenager he was kidnapped and taken to Ireland as a slave. His job was to herd sheep. During his six or so years in captivity, he turned to Christianity. And one day he heard from God to leave Ireland by going to the coast. He made his escape by hitching a ride from a boat he found at dock. Seems like perfect timing.

When Patrick made it back home to Britain, he reunited with his family and at age 20 began studying for the priesthood. After he was ordained, he headed back to Ireland as a missionary. This is when all the legends began about St. Patrick. What we do know, is that he converted many Irish to Christianity. He used the shamrock, or clover to demonstrate the Holy Trinity. He also established many churches in Ireland.

One myth states that he drove all the snakes out of Ireland. I believe this is a metaphor for Patrick confronting the Druids and converting them to Christianity, therefore cleansing the island of paganism. And really, Ireland never had snakes to begin with.

Patrick died on March 17, 461 and was pretty much lost in the archives until he became the patron saint of Ireland. It wasn't until the 1700s that people started wearing shamrocks to show their Irish Christian pride. Later, they just started wearing the color green. The first St. Patrick's Day parade actually occurred in the United States during the Revolutionary war. Since then, St. Patrick's Day has exploded. Parades go on in cities world wide. Chicago dies their river green and green beer flows all over the place.

So on this day, take a little time to remember the real St. Patrick. He must have had a strong love for the people who made him a slave to go back and share the love of God with them. So please save one toast for St. Patrick and don't forget to wear your green.

Sources: Catholic.org
History Channel

Walkout or Walk up

Today's tea was a medium unsweet tea courtesy of Hardees. It doesn't make a very pretty picture. So I opted for this one instead. Spring is just about here, folks. I've been caught up in a lot of chiropractor visits and haven't taken a lot of time to write. I miss it.

I guess today was National School Walkout Day. I say that because I heard about it, but didn't give it much thought. I mean students leaving school to demand stronger gun control or honoring the victims of the latest Florida school shooting? I'm not sure exactly what they expected to happen. So I was a little surprised to learn that it was today when I walked into the office this morning. Luckily, my principal was on the ball. She sent out an email informing us what to tell the students and what to do and not to do. Then when she realized a lot of students were inquiring about it, she made an announcement before class started.

I figured that would be the end of it. It was in my class. We were taking our end of unit test. Since 10:00 was the walkout time and this was during homeroom, I had my students watching a short video before we made a new seating chart where they picked their seat. No one even mentioned walking out.

Later in the day, I heard a couple of students decided to walkout anyway. I really don't see what good it did. That's when I started thinking about what would make a difference. I read about a Walk-up movement. Students are encouraged to walk up to those kids that are left out, not chosen for group activities,  someone you normally wouldn't talk to. These are the kinds of things that may do some good. I do want to note, that someone attempting this should be completely sincere. I can just imagine what it's like to be sitting by yourself all the time and then someone comes up to visit with you. I'd be a little suspicious. Let's think back to the movie "Carrie".  But if done with real sincerity and continued, I think it could make a difference.

My superintendent send out an email about a talk he had at the high school. Some students participated in a 17 minute event today. He encouraged those students to tell someone if they hear of threats, to treat each other with respect and compassion. Although they don't have to be friends with everyone, they can be friendly to everyone. I can't tell you if these things are going to make a difference or not. I do think Walk-up and being friendly have a better chance of changing our immediate surroundings than a Walkout. I'm wondering if the students will remember any of this tomorrow or next week. I guess remains to be seen. Until next time.

Turning Point

It's been a wild and interesting day. Winds over 25 mph with a little sun and a few snow flurries. I wasn't expecting snowflakes today. And that's what makes life interesting.

Have you ever felt like you've made a turn on your path and you know it's going to get better? I've been thinking about this lately and thought it was time to share. A few years back my health took a turn for the worse. I can't explain how it happened, but every time I'd sit down I had pain in my hips and groin. It was scary. My skin turned red and that really freaked me out.

So I decided to see what my dermatologist thought. He put me on a different allergy medicine, but it didn't go away. I got to the point where I didn't want to sit down. I didn't want to eat and I was weak. I'd sit and cry because I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.

My doctor (a substitute because mine was on vacation) thought maybe I became allergic to some medicine I was taking. So I changed a medicine. A week or two went by and no change. So I decided on my own to stop taking Pravastatin. It's not a smart idea to stop that drug cold turkey, but I didn't care. And it didn't make a difference.

Luckily for my pocketbook this was during a Christmas break. I remember laying in bed trying to read a Perry Mason book and I'd watch as my lower abdomen jumped up and down. I was miserable! I don't know what would have happened to me if Mom wasn't around. I called her and asked if I could stay with her for a little bit. She came over and picked me up. And when I couldn't stand it anymore, she took me to urgent care. There they put me through a CAT scan and couldn't find anything. Then they decided to do a sonogram of my ovaries and uterus. And that was fine. The most they did to help me was give me some muscle relaxers. And that didn't work either.

Mom made me start eating and that helped some. When I finally saw my regular doctor she told me to do crunches and it's not life threatening. She was more worried about getting me back on some cholesterol medicine. That's when I told myself, "No way am I doing that again." And I didn't. I started taking Plexus Slim and now my cholesterol is normal, but I still have the tingling and pressure when I sit.

And it makes me sad to admit this, but I got plum tired of talking about it. I did sit ups everyday as part of my morning routine. But I never told anyone I was still in pain when I sat down. I suffered in silence.  Then one day I was driving down the road and I truly believe God spoke to me. I'd been listening to some of my friends talk about going to a chiropractor. Now you have to understand, my family doesn't got to chiropractors. When I was growing up they were on the fringe of the medical system. I really didn't know much about what they do. But everywhere I turned I had a friend talking about going to the chiropractor. I'd quiz them about it. None of their problems sounded like mine. But as I was in the car that day thinking about how my friends were getting help from chiropractors, that's when I felt God told me, "What if you tried a chiropractor?" I didn't have an answer. I'd got to the point I expected that this was arthritis or something chronic that I was going to have to suffered with for the rest of my life. It hasn't killed me so far.

Now I can be impulsive, but not with important things like health and money. I've spent months thinking about purchasing a new bed before I actually went out and bought one. This was the same thing. A friend of mine has her whole family go to a chiropractor in a neighboring town. And she had nothing but good things to say about her. But it took me going online to my insurance company and seeing she was in network for me to make the decision to call the office for an appointment.

I called on a Friday and the receptionist acted like I could get in anytime next week. I was shocked. What kind of doctor has openings like that? But I made an appointment for Wednesday and kept it. I didn't know what to expect. I had a little trouble navigating the streets in that town, but finally made it on time, too. I walked in to a bright yellow room that was empty except for the receptionist. I had previously completed all the paperwork from the website. And there were a lot of questions, 195 to be exact. I was nervous because I didn't know what was going to happen. The doctor came out and took me to a room. I answered a few questions and she wanted height, weight and x-rays. We went in another room to do that and she asked me to wait while she developed the x-rays. I sat in the yellow waiting room and played Candy Crush to calm my nerves. I still wasn't sure what was going to happen or how this was going to help me.

After about 15 minutes and a couple patients had come and gone, she came back for me. She had the x-rays lit up showing my hips. She told me my right hip was tilted and I could actually see the pubic bone lower on the right than the left. I also had two discs that were twisted in opposite directions. I had a problem! Yes, someone actually told me there was something wrong! It took an old fashioned x-ray machine and a chiropractor to tell me what was wrong with me. I want to kick myself for not doing this sooner, but I can't. Right now I am too relieved. I've got a plan for how I'm going to get better. I have someone who knows what's wrong and that's why I feel I've made a right  turn to something better in the future. I'm not better yet, but just knowing what's wrong with me makes me feel like I can deal with this. So I'll turn back to my first question. Have you felt like you've made a turn on this path of life and know things are going to get better?

Dreary to Bright

Some days you just want a big glass of iced tea and your jammies. Today is that day for me. Winter has been too hormonal for me lately. Beautiful and sunny, then cold and dreary. This week has started warm and wet and now it's cold and wet. I don't think wet's the best word here. It's dang soggy.

Today I got up and started running late. I don't why.  I couldn't decide what to wear with the temperatures warm in the morning and supposed to drop during the day. I didn't plan on anything for lunch, so I had to traipse out into the rain to get some fast food. My car windows were so fogged up I couldn't see. Let's just say it was a messy day. I did get some iced tea, though.

After work, I came home to huge puddles in the yard and 37 degrees out with rain. It was nasty. I had to get the trash out because I never remember on Wednesday mornings. So my cute dress shoes got soaked. Let's face it, I was soaked!

On my way back to the car to get my stuff, I saw something that made me smile. In my trunk was a box and in the box was a bouquet of flowers. Yes, right about the time you think spring is never going to get here, you get some pretty flowers to brighten up your day. As it turned out, I got these from my principal. I didn't realize why, she just said, "Happy end of the day." But I wasn't going to pass up flowers! After I got inside, changed my clothes and put those pretties in a nice vase with water I checked my email and found out how I became a recipient of flowers for no reason.

It seems that my principal has a very thoughtful brother. He brought her about 20 bouquets of flowers today. She decided to share with as many of the staff as she could. So I guess she was going down the halls distributing flowers. I'm so glad she stopped at my room. And that's pretty cool of her brother to bring them to her.

My brother is similar. Although he lives two states away and can't just bring something over. But he's done some neat things for my team. One year he bought the science department some neat shirts. They said, "I'm a science teacher... just like a normal teacher, but much cooler." The next year he got us some School House Rock shirts. "Knowledge is Power". Those gifts made us feel really special, similar to getting a bouquet of flowers for no particular reason.

A day that could have stayed blah and dreary got brightened up. Here's hoping your day is bright and cheerful. If you can do something to make someone smile, do it.

Have you got a story about brightening someone's day? Share it in the comments. I'd love to read it.

With Liberty and Justice and Safety for All

You know it's a nice day in February when you come home from work and fix a tall glass of iced tea. And that's what I did today. It was 76 degrees outside when I got home. I got those windows open and enjoyed some refreshing air along with my tea.

I thought a lot about safety yesterday when I got home and read about another school shooting. This one in Florida. I didn't realize it at the time, but a co-worker had been to that school when she attended a neighboring district and she knew someone that currently attends the school.  Something that struck me was that all these school shooters provided some kind of warning signs. And we noticed them after the tragedy had struck. And that's the worst time to acknowledge warning signs.

So I'm going to suggest we talk to our students, our children and let them know when people do, say and post things that make them uncomfortable or creeped out they should tell someone. It's not an easy conversation to have with a child you want to protect. But that's exactly how you can empower them to protect themselves and others. They need to find someone they trust to believe them and get the information to someone with authority to monitor the situation and take action if needed.

Our students/children need to know they don't have to open a door for anyone at home or school. Schools have a proper door for visitors and they can ring to get in. Those authorized to use different doors should have their own keys. I know it's considered polite to open a door for someone, but I'd rather have a kid turn me down at the door than let in a lunatic bent on creating chaos.

We as school personnel need to wake up to the fact that it could happen to us. We need to think about the implications of that kind of situation. It could be us! And then we need to prepare. I know teachers just want to teach. That's why we come to school everyday. But we also need to be practical.

Hopefully the teachers at your child's school have been through an active shooter training. I know we have. So in the interest of providing a public service, I'd like to share some tips I've learned through this training. (A big thanks goes out to my friend, Cindi who took the time to put many of these tips down yesterday. I was too wrapped up in myself to do that.)

1. Keep your doors locked. This goes for outside doors and classroom doors. An unlocked door is an invitation to come right in.

2. When you hear something that may be gunfire if at all possible, get out of the building and RUN. And don't just stand around outside the building. Run away and have a meeting place for the students. The more they scatter, the less chance of being a victim.

If running isn't feasible, hide away from doors and windows. Take the time to teach kids that running from this kind of danger is self preservation. If someone set off a firecracker in the building and my class ran out, I wouldn't mind explaining to my principal why we left. Now when I say hide, I don't mean cower in a corner. I mean blockade the doors with desks or whatever heavy items you can, grab something hard and be prepared to throw it if the intruder tries to access your room. Don't go quiet into that good night. Fight like heck! I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of 30 flying objects from a bunch kids.

3. If you are hiding, silence is golden. How many times have you had someone give themselves away in Hide and Seek because they couldn't be quiet? This is the same situation only we are playing for keeps. Turn off lights and make no noise. The intruder may just walk on by without noticing you. And if you are hiding, stay put until the police show up. I'm sure it's tempting to peek out the door or window, but you may alert someone to your presence.

4. And for everyone's safety do what the police/SWAT team tell you to do. If they ask you to lie on the floor, do it.

Prevention is the key point here. If someone notices something odd going on or a person has a hit list going, please tell your principal, counselor, teacher or parent. Don't let it get to the point where someone does something stupid and people get hurt. Then make sure you know to run or hide; in that order. We  may not be able to prevent all these attacks, but if we can save more lives I feel like it's a win for the good guys. Safety to all!

Fraidy Cat

Sometimes a nice cup of tea and a phone call can make all the difference. And sometimes it takes more. So here's my fraidy cat story. First of all, I'm a very level headed person, most of the time. I pride myself on my use of logic and intuition to understand most situations. That being said, there was one time I lost my cool.

It was Sunday night and I was alone. I'd suffered through freezing rain with a touch of snow and cold weather. I got the call that school was cancelled for Monday. I decided to stay up a little later and kept watching Midsomer Murders. It was a good one about bullies who killed a boy and then he came back and started killing them 20 years later. It was creepy! And they killed him by drowning him. It was atrocious as far as I was concerned. So let's just say I really got involved in it. I even yelled at Barnaby to watch out before he was tied up and gagged with duct tape.

This episode was over about 10:30 and I turned off the television. I started checking email and playing online. Then I heard a bang from the ceiling. I thought, "What the heck?" I noticed the heater was running; so that wasn't broken. So I shrugged it off... until a couple minutes later it banged again in another part of the ceiling. Now this is strange. So I closed up my laptop and stood up waiting to see if it would happen again. And it did. Now I'm really concerned.

Situations started going through my mind. Could there be an animal in the attic? Did something break up there? Oh my gosh, my neighbor had told me a story about a drugged up guy on someone's roof in town. Did I have someone on the roof?

I opened my front door. Because of the icy roads, there was no traffic out there. And I was too scared to go out on the porch. So I listened from the doorway. It banged inside, but I didn't hear it from the outside. Now I was really freaked out. I shoved my slipper socked feet into some snow boots, snatched a coat from the closet, found my flashlight and headed out back. My patio was a slippery mess, so as soon as I could, I gingerly stepped onto the grass. I was in no mood to try out my Nancy Kerrigan moves. I got out as far as I dared into the dark night and directed my flashlight toward the roof. Back and forth I waved the visible waves of light, but I couldn't find a thing on the roof except my satellite dish.

So I went back inside and heard the banging some more. It was about 10:40 and I hoped my mom was still up because I picked up the phone and called her. I told her about the scary show and the noises in the ceiling. She suggested I might not want to watch scary shows in the dark. Thanks Mom! But what about my banging roof? I'll admit she calmed me down. I would have heard more noises if it was a person. So what if there's an animal up there. It's not coming down to get me.

Once I got off the phone I still heard the bangs. I went back to my computer and started a search about it. This article made me feel a little better. What really helped was when my oldest and best friend posted the following.

I saw this and realized I wasn't the only one dealing with these noises. It must have been happening all over the place. What a relief! I heard the bangs a few more times, but it didn't bother me. I don't know if my friend knew how much her post meant to be, but hopefully she knows now. Sometimes you just need to know there's someone else going through the same situation to make you feel like you can handle it. I love you, Mom for doing what you do best, trying to make me feel better. But there's nothing like knowing someone else has your same problem to fix you right up. It doesn't always work, but in this case it did. Best of all, I slept like a baby that night; without a care in the world.